According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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