my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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