Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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