she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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