I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Randomize
