she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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