I like to think it a success when the cops are called
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
