I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
North Korea, Best Korea!
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
