Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
