i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
ugly people sure do ruin things
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
