ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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