And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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