It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
