maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
