If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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