I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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