Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
