He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
