I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
