she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
