Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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