I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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