I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
