Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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