question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
