Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
