yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
