My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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