It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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