Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
