So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
as a side note pls kill me
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
