If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
