shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
