why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
