butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
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