That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
