I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
When are your genitals available?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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