So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
