Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
