He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
