I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
