Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
operation have a gay friend backfired
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
