What tipped you off? The sombrero?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
