Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Bring me that man meat
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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