I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize