I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Randomize
