dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
