So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
