I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
