So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
