you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
