i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
she peed on how many people?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
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