Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize