That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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