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• (650): View more from California

  i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!

  (408): View more from California

  Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?

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• (562): View more from California

  she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend

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• (365): View more from

  I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating

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• (951): View more from California

  It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  BRING THE BAGELS

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• (830): View more from Texas

  Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(

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