I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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