Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
