is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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