He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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