I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
