We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
