I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
two words...techno handjob
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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