I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
vagina is talking i cant
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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