two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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