Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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